3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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