Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
