What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
