all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
