I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The feeling are messing with the penis
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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