Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
