Screwed.edu
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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