I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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