well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
