This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize