i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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