Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
