This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
