the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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