I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He? As in you personified your dick?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
