i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
