I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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