No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
