i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
