He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
