it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize