I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
