Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize