Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
