I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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