she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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