I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
