Soap is not a condiment
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
