If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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