Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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