arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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