I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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