I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The power of my boobs compel you
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
