her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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