He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
