North Korea, Best Korea!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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