So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
