It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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