Plan B is the new Plan A
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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