I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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