That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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