My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
