chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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