you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
