So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize