how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
