didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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