plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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