We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
