found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
