Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Plan B is the new Plan A
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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