sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
