i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
