their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
