I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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