"it" just moved
hell yes lets make some ravioli
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
