i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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