the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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