I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
