why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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