whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she was so not down for the gang bang
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
