I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
